Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Songs of Salivation

Songs of Salivation

     20 songs that reference something edible.  Do I love food more than music?  Well, ten or so years ago, (yeah right...last week) I gave up believing I was going to be the greatest rock star poet ever to grace a stage.  Seeing as I don't actually play an instrument any more; and I'm not in a band, but I do eat constantly...the winner is clear.
     One thing is for certain- people love to blur the line between food and sex...  

     And now, in no particular order and without further ado, my all-time favourite food-themed songs...

20. Cherry Pie- Warrant
I absolutely despised this song and its devotees when in high school.  Now I can accept it on a fromage level of nostalgia.  So glad I wasn't into this shit when it hit the charts.
Tasty Lyric- 'Mixed up the batter and she licked the beater.'  Indeed.

I never liked skinny blondes with big hair.  Good thing, they often had a penis.

19. Strawberry Fields Forever- The Beatles
Not their best track, but of it I am fond.  Of course, I would never diss the men that drafted the blueprint for all future pop music.  English strawberries are velly, velly good.
Tasty Lyric- 'It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out, it doesn't matter much to me.'

Doc Octopus and his three page boys circa '67

18. Rock Lobster- The B-52s
How can you not love the B52's?  Filled a niche.  We'll forgive Kate and that god awful REM collaboration.  Blame it on Stipe. 
Apparently this track shook John Lennon out of a five year hiatus.
Tasty Lyric- Uh, yeah...read a Dr. Seus book.

Sometimes music should just be fun!

17. Milkshake- Kelis
Everything tells me to not like this song.  What is it men think with again?  I'm confused.  I love milkshakes.
Tasty Lyric-  'Just get the perfect blend, plus what you have within.  The next his eyes will squint that he's picked up your scent.'

No comment.

16. Peaches- The Presidents of the United States of America
Peaches are certainly a sensual and erotic fruit.  Fuzzy, juicy and ever so fragrant.  Yum!
Tasty Lyric-  If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day.  Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade.'

'Millions of peaches, peaches for me.'

15. Peaches- The Stranglers
Again with the peaches!  Much more overtly sexual this track...hell, nearly lecherous.  This tune slugged it out on the charts in '77 with 'God Save the Queen'.  
Tasty Lyric-   '...you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours, spread it all over my peelin' skin baby.  That feels real good.  All this skirt lappin' up the sun, lap me up.  Why don't you come on and lap me up.'

'Walking on the beaches, looking at the peaches.'

14. Eggs & Sausages- Tom Waits
Along with U2; the only artist that when I first heard the music, I went out and bought the entire back catalogue.  Tom Waits is the king of cool.
Tasty Lyric-  'Eggs and sausage and a side of toast, coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy
chile in a bowl with burgers and fries. What kind of pie?'


13. Mayonaise- The Smashing Pumpkins
A great song from a classic album.  Not sure why they called it 'Mayonaise' or why they spelled it wrong.  No matter.
Tasty Lyric- Not really worth it...tepid love lyrics.

Despite all his rage, he is still just a rat in a cage.

12. Egg Man- Beastie Boys
From that seminal album, 'Paul's Boutique'.  Samples galore on this one.  Everyone from Costello to Mayfield to Sly to John Williams.
Tasty Lyric- 'Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg.  He was playing the wall then he broke his leg.  Tossed it out the window three minutes hot.  Hit the Rastaman he said "bloodclot".'

Eminem can kiss their asses.

11. Big Sugar- Sugar in My Coffee
An underrated Canadian band belting out classic blues rock.  Love this song.
Tasty Lyric-  'I don't want no sugar in my coffee, makes me mean, it makes me mean.'

Buy it...now.

10. Candy- Morphine
The deep and dark grooves of Morphine.  Unique and short-lived jazz rockers.
Tasty Lyric-  'Candy told me nothing really matters any more, when I ask her what she means, she says I oughtta know.'

Mark Sandman R.I.P

9. Black Coffee- Black Flag
Sometimes, one just needs to rawwwwwkkk!
Tasty Lyric-  'Staring at the walls, think I know what I see...anger and coffee, feeling mean.'

Thank-you for cutting your hair Mr. Rollins.

8. Catfish Blues- Jimi Hendrix
If Jimi were a catfish, he wudda never got caught.
Tasty Lyric-  'Well, I wish I was a catfish swimmin' in the, the deep blue sea.  I have all you pretty women fishin' after me.'

'I been imitated so well, I even heard 'em copy my mistakes.'

7. Pork Soda- Primus
Not many odder than Les Claypool, but he sure can tap that bass.
Lyric Check-  'Grab yourself a can of pork soda, you'll be feeling just fine.  Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house swillin' down them cans of swine.'

Wonder if he ever did get a gander at Wynona's big brown beaver?

6. Jambalaya- Hank Williams
Good ol' Hank getting some good eats and a woman down the bayou.
Tasty Lyric-  'Jambalaya, a crawfish pie and a file gumbo.'

'You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly.'

5. Coconut- Harry Nilsson
Two important rules of the '70's- don't go out on the town with Nilsson and Lennon, and don't stay at Harry's flat in London.
Tasty Lyric-  'She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up.  She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up.  She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up.'  Ok Harry, whatever you say.

The Smothers Brothers were not amused.

4. Shortnin' Bread- The Cramps
I remember my Mom singing this song to my brother and I all the time.  Of course I got quite a kick out of The Cramps version of this old Negro plantation tune.  Twisted childhood nostalgia.
Tasty Lyric-  Pretty much the title over and over and over.  Mammy's little baby loves shortnin' bread!

Poison Ivy & Lux Interior

3. Savoy Truffle- The Beatles
What a track!  Seriously, one of my all-time favourite songs.  A George Harrison penned bluesy-rocker with a great horn section.  Apparently a tribute to Eric Clapton's chocolate addiction.
Tasty Lyric-  'Cool cherry cream and a nice apple tart.  I feel your taste all the time we're apart.  Coconut fudge really blows down those blues.  But you'll have to have them all pulled out after a savoy truffle.'

'While his guitar gently weeps.'

2. Brown Sugar- The Rolling Stones
Whoa, Mick was really pushing the card with this one.  Now you wouldn't catch the old geezer putting his rep on the line with this kind of risque take on s&m slave rape.  Sir Mick indeed.
Tasty Lyric-  'Scarred old slaver know he's doin' allright.  Hear him whip the women just around midnight.  Ah, brown sugar, how come you taste so good?'  Let's just stick to shakin' our booties and thinking he was merely penning a tribute to a Nubian princess.

Love the Queen B.

1. Closer to the Bone- Louis Prima
My all-time favourite food-themed song.  Louis Prima is a god.  Such clever lyrics and so much fun.  If you haven't got this track, off to itunes with ya!  Thanks for listening.
Tasty Lyric- So many to choose from.  'Now she'd make a good thermometer if she drank a glass of wine, she's built just like a garter snake, she climbs up like a vine.' 

'Closer to the bone, sweeter is the meat.'

There are countless others, many of which have come to me after the fact.  I'll store them up for another entry, another day.  Requests welcome.

Musically and 'culinarily' yours,

DJ Hardboiled


  1. How about "Blueberry Hill", by Fats Domino.....
    or "American Pie", by Don McLean.......or "Mother
    Popcorn", by James Brown........."Tutti Frutti" by
    Little Richard........"Cinnamon Girl" by Neil Young........."Hungry" by Paul Revere & the Raiders........."Ice Cream", by Sarah McLaughlin.
    Nice list there kiddo. Check out any you don't know from mine. Love, the old Man.

  2. Ha! Missed Cinnamon Girl, one of my favourite songs. Not a McLaughlin fan. Had to stop somewhere and these were songs I really liked.

  3. Punky's Dilema - Simon and Garfunkel (big surprise)

    Wish I was a Kellogg's Cornflake
    Floatin' in my bowl takin' movies,
    Relaxin' awhile, livin' in style,
    Talkin' to a raisin who 'casion'ly plays L.A.,
    Casually glancing at his toupee.

    Wish I was an English muffin
    'Bout to make the most out of a toaster.
    I'd ease myself down,
    Comin' up brown.
    I prefer boysenberry
    More than any ordinary jam.
    I'm a "Citizens for Boysenberry Jam" fan.

  4. Frank Zappa must have some fucked up song about nachos or banana sandwiches out there...

  5. Time for another top 20 songs of Salivation??!